I am having a down day. I am still struggling to get done with these quilts. I am delivering 2 tomorrow though - 3 left.
I hate the space I have to work. It is not where I live, which is a pain in the ass. I feel for anyone who does not work at home - it is such a luxury. However, the place I go has zero lighting, so I am working from a lamp. Fun - shadows everywhere. There is very little air conditioning - just enough to cut the humidity, so I sweat the entire the time. There are no windows and there is a loud echo - because I am in a storage room!
It just plain sucks.
The walls are closing in on me today in this RV. My marriage is not in a great place right now. My husband called me weird last night. He has never done that. He is feeling it too.
My kids are laying in bed all day, but I have to work so I cannot do anything about it. 1.5 more weeks tops of this. Only 3 quilts and their little asses will be moving, as will mine.
The only adults I talk with on a daily basis are lenders and builders and they talk down to me mostly. Well, it is how I perceive it probably, especially since I am a fish out of water when it comes to looking at thickly wooded property and deciding exactly where the house and shed should go. Or why the lenders added the closing costs to the loan when we are paying them (weird accounting), but I feel so freaking stupid about it all.
It has been a long time since I have gone through a day where I make very important decisions, but made to feel bad about them - all day, with every decision.
Oh, and there is no feedback - just - "if that's what you want". Sigh. A word of advise every now and then would be appreciated.
Just my needy personality, a long time under a lot of stress, lack of personal contact with others and being in limbo. That is how building a house goes. Tomorrow, I will be over the moon excited again.
Boy, oh boy I cannot wait until life is a little more calm again and I can wrap my head around everything.
one husband......four kids......debt......sewing...... saving......cooking......yoga......sweet......chaos......life......
If it were me, (which if it were, it wouldn't be) I would start looking immediately for a house to rent for the duration. I would then get my stuff out of storage, and cancel the rent of the unit. I would also sell the RV. All in all, I don't think you truly took into consideration all the costs in this RV plan, including emotional.
ReplyDeleteI know, we are insane! I am determined to stick it through. I really think once the work is done and I can plan outings and be with the kids more, things will be smoother. Right now, I am an absent parents. Oh, and the loan will be closed - which will take a load of stress off. Crazy freaking lenders.
DeleteI think you are doing great! Lots of stressful circumstances (but you anticipated those) so just keep moving forward! We (your longtime readers support you!!).
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, I knew they would come. Normally, I would not write about it, but I trying to give everyone a realistic sense of what this process is like. It is not Sunshine and Lollipops, but it is not awful either.
DeleteI've always heard that building a home was super stressful. Remind yourself that it is okay and perfectly normal to have days of uncertainty. Take it a day at at time. It will be over before you know it!
ReplyDeleteThank you - that is exactly what I need to do!
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