Survivors Guilt is weighing heavily on me.
Where we live did not flood the home.
It did not flood the little city.
We never lost electricity.
We never lost internet.
We never ran out of food.
The grocery store within walking distance opened on Tuesday.
We were able to fill our truck with gas.
We never got stuck in this rental.
NOT ONLY THAT, but...
The 1st home we had when married, was flooded in.
Area of 1st home is STILL flooded and waters are rising from the reservoir.
The 2nd home was flooded in.
The 3rd home was flood in.
The RV park was flooded.
NOT ONLY THAT, but...
Because my grandmother died and left me a little money, we were able to get this rental. (I got bashed a little for that, but now I am thankful). Just 5 months ago, we moved out of house #3 leaving behind LOTS of friends that DID get flooded.
Its like we left behind the wake of mass descruction.
We were abel to get our boys out yesterday and they both stayed here last night.
I feel guilty because workers showed up at our house yesterday and worked. We are meeting the builder today to discuss time lines and work issues.
It just seems so out of place when so many people don't have homes at all. Rental properties are flying off the market, there are not enough places.
Food and gas and other supplies are not coming in Houston fast enough. Shipments supposed to go to Dallas are going elsewhere closer to the Harvey fallout (not necessarily Houston), so Dallas is having gas shortages.
A plant in Crosby will be exploding on the east side of Houston - close to areas that were already hit so hard. Luckily, it is rural and the explosion is only supposed to affect 2 square miles, but the winds are blowing, so the chemical fallout will be worse.
My son has to get to college this weekend, but we cannot get supplies for him. I am also worried about them running out of gas. I hope that by this weekend things get a little better in that realm.
My guilt is from being able to bounce back to normal and so many others bouncing back as well, juxtaposed next to those that without a home, lost all their possessions, and are just starting a very long, grueling process.
Schools don't when they will start. We are starting next week when Dad goes back to work. Aransas ISD is closed indefinitely.
Also, last night, Darrell's step-father passed. It has been touch and go for a couple of months now. We are just hoping the airports open back up by the time the funeral comes.
Life will go on and I will work through this guilt. Every day that the sun shines right now is a brighter new day.
one husband......four kids......debt......sewing...... saving......cooking......yoga......sweet......chaos......life......
So sorry about your father in law. Don't have guilt. It is not your fault in any way shape or form. DH was mentioning the other day that every other house we looked at to buy in this state has had to evacuate because of all the fires. A couple were burned right up near the homes, even.
ReplyDeleteWe are in Dallas and the lines of cars are trailing out for blocks in every direction at our neighborhood station. It's the only one around that has gas. For now. I grew up in Houston and I am heartbroken. I had very restless sleep last night thinking of it all. My family had the same fate as you. They all recently moved to areas that did not flood, while there former neighborhoods are underwater. I can understand how you feel. I feel guilty for not being there. And we had nice weather in Dallas all through the hurricane.
ReplyDeleteYou should have no guilt, just be thankful. Whatever is meant to be is meant to be. Just do what you can for others, no sense in wasting time feeling guilty :)
ReplyDeleteI would feel so lucky, grateful, thankful or whatever you want to call the feeling. Now, you are in a position to help if you can. Aren't you glad you got your rental before they all disappear. The chemical/plastics plant news is very worrisome.
ReplyDeleteAnother way to think about it is your family is out of the area and now in a position to help, rather than need help. Perhaps knowing that life can still go on as normal in other parts of the state, county, gives hope to those struggling right now. We can all donate, but the logistics to get more supplies fast enough is daunting. I know we all wish we could do more.
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