Today is not better

I did get a little sleep - about 4 hours.  It helped, just luck is not on my side right now.

Let me explain why I am upset about the house.

1) Kitchen - I have to have the island - the design of the house was built around and the plumbing for the sink and dishwasher is in the foundation.  For me to move it would mean A TON of money.

The cabinet maker is going to make it about 6 inches thinner, which will work, but I will have a smaller than usual sink.  The problem was the space walking between the pantry and the side of this island - very tight space.  It is just not what I wanted.

2) The Master Bathroom - It is a very thin bathroom.  If someone is standing at the sink, another person cannot walk by without the person at the sink scrunching up.  How often will that happen - a lot - to get to the toilet or the closet you have to walk by the sinks.  There is nothing that can be done about it and I am very upset about it.

OK, why this bothers me so badly is that neither the architect nor the builder said anything to me about these spaces.  They acted like it was a normal thing and those sizes were everywhere.  DH and I tried to measure it out, but until you actually see it - it is so abstract that you cannot tell.  Out of the two - I am most upset about the bathroom.

Now, I do lay some of the blame on the architect and builder, but mostly on me.  I have screwed up our house.   I signed off on these blue prints.  Everytime I think about it I cry.  I cannot even make decisions anymore because I feel like I am going to screw something else up. 

DH is going to meet with the builder tonight about the closet.  I cannot meet with him right now.  The builder is not answering my texts or email, but he is answering DH's.  That infuriates me even more.

At this point, there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of it and a normal person would let it go, but I cannot seem to do it.  Maybe when it is all done I can.

Everything seems to have that luster of sucking right now.

The concrete cannot be laid because we are having a week of flood producing rain.  Seriously - the week finally came that they were going work on the shed and we get this.

I went to the bank to get our monthly cash and make a deposit.  System is down - they cannot make any transactions.

Go to the library.  No parking whatsoever and I did not have my library card with me.  Sigh.

DH and I finally get a week together to spend time with each other (ie not doing so great right now), but we have to go clean out my grandmother's house.  Then move as soon as we get back for one day, then go pick up the kids.  Keep in mind - my grandmother lived 8 hours from me.  The sister is 5 hours from me in the opposite direction of my grandmother.

Homeschool starts that next week and no we cannot put it off any more.  Some of the extra-curriculars are starting their sessions, so we have to get organized.

I am just trying to breathe and work it all one day at a time.