Giving in - Mom style

OK, my oldest struggles.  He has multiple issues - bi-polar, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, ADHD plus he battles to keep his neutraphils up to a level that he can fight off bacterial infections.  The latter means large amounts of folic acid.

Anyway, he dropped out of college - which was fine, I knew he wasn't going to make it.  He is the one that keeps me up at night though.

He wants to make all mistakes on his own and fix it on his own, is stubborn, combative at times, and needs to work on talking a breath before reacting, but don't we all really.

We had a LOT of problems with his living situation December through March - don't know if you remember.  Poor planning on his part, but really so much as trusting a druggy.  His living situation is good right now, but ends in August.

So, why this matters?  A little over two months ago he was in a wreck that totaled his car.  Great.  That car would have lasted him years because we were the only owners and took really good care of it.  But, we ended up buying him a $2,000 car to get back and forth to work - especially since we moved away from him.

About 3 weeks of having the car, it started leaking coolant.  I predicted it was the head gasket.  He did not want our help, nor really did we want to help.  He started riding a bike to work.  That in itself does not bother me, but the roads he must travel to get there do not have a sidewalk or bike lane.  He was knocked off his bike once and has almost misses daily.  Then he started getting rides from his boss - while trying to ask for a raise and get a promotion.  Sigh.

Last week, he finally relented and asked us to help him take it to a shop.  Darrell and I decided we would fix this problem since we pushed the car on him AND he has to procure another roommate situation very soon.  This little fix is around $3,200.  The head gasket, drive chain, and lots of other small things that are good to change since we are in the engine and they are not charging for labor.  This should get him a good car for a while. 

I know doing this for an adult seems like I am delaying a problem, but this kid is trying.  I am mean really trying - he saved up money like he said he was going to, he got a raise at work and is on the track to becoming an assistant manager, as well as working on the side as a plumber's apprentice.  I am not sure I could ask more of him right now. 

He has no debt, pays his bills on time and has a desire to do better.  The business he works at is a good place, family owned - I know them, and they like him.

This time, I don't mind helping him out.  After all, he was my first angel. ;)

I never learn...

To keep my fucking mouth shut about political issues and my beliefs to myself.  I feel so isolated in my thoughts sometimes that they just blurt out and then I feel so guilty, even though I am not attacking anyone, slandering anyone or singling out any person other than the presidents of two countries. 

Sigh, OK - my little rant here.

I am keeping it on the environmental realm - which is all I know.

France's Climate Agreement is bunk.  All these types of agreements are.  It is all driven by economics.  All of it - no matter what you hear on the media or dream of or think of or anything - it is all economics and then power.

I know because I was an environmental activist.  Sure, officials would consider anything as long as taxes could be raised or the particular environmental concern could generate it own funding because of the money saved - for example in the oil industry.  If by curbing green house gases from the production of natural gases could somehow be made into a cash cow - they BING  - you have a reduction in green house gases.  But, since there is nothing right now, to reduce the green house gases COSTS money.  Do you think the oil companies will suck that up?  Not a chance, they will pass it along to the consumer, who you know what, who will pay every last for it because they want that Truck, that SUV, that Car, those clothes, that food, that everything. But, the consumer complains when prices rise, so....

There will be a tipping point though.  And this is why I stopped being an activist.  There is only so much oil,  there is only so much gas.  One day, it will be gone.  However, before that, the climate will get warmer - more vegetation will grow - more evaporation, more severe storms and then the ocean will absorb all that carbon dioxide and we be thrown into an ice age - where billions of people will die ( whoever is left from the storms), because food will be scarce and the cold will kill.  Then, eventually, the oceans will start releasing that carbon dioxide and the earth will start warming and the vegetation will grow.  See the cycle.

Thing is, the earth will take care of itself.  We are not the first animals on this planet and we won't be the last.  We can do our worst, then we will be the oil that future generations will use. 

I don't agree with France's Climate Agreement - it is too ambiguous and generalized.  It needs to be rethought out.

Progress!

Yesterday was big day in regards to the house progress.

I met the builder and contractors at the land to finalize the positions of the shed and house.  The last pile of brush was burning and it was a hot summer day here!

First the bummer news, I thought we were supposed to meet at 2:30.  I let us sleep in to get some rest, then we were slow moving.  I usually do not eat breakfast, so I just had my coffee.  In fact, I am sure I did not even drank water because I was just dragging yesterday. We did not get to the rec room for homeschool until 11.

At 11:45, I get a text saying we will meet at 12:30.  AGH!!  I am 30 minutes away.  So, we pack up, go back to the RV, I get some water, put on my tennis shoes and head out.  No food at this point.

We get to work immediately, walking back and forth over the property.  Large trucks are dumping dirt, there are several piles of brush burning quite hard.  Smoke and heat from the fire is felt acutely.

After about an hour and a half, I feel light headed and faint.  My muscles are weak and I just cannot work anymore.  They get me some water and put me in the shade.  Great - only a sip of water and no food - wonderful combination for this heat - really bad planning on my part.

I felt awful the rest of the day and honestly, I hardly slept last night, so I feel horrible today too!  I need to drink lots of water and something with a little salt.

BUT, we are making great progress!

The dirt pad for the shed is almost done and about 1/2 of the dirt for the house pad is done.  Unfortunately, it rained last night, so I am not sure how much is going to get done today.  It the nature of it though.

Here are 2 pictures.  1 is from the back of the property and the other is from the front.  I could have gotten a better shot, but the big excavating machines are parked where I would stand to take a good, clean shot, but you get the idea.

This is from the back of the property - the red dirt on the right is the shed, on the left is the house. Our truck is parked in the driveway way back there!

This is from leaning on the grill of the truck.  The shed pad is on the left now and the house is on the right.