Friday, June 2, 2017

Giving in - Mom style

OK, my oldest struggles.  He has multiple issues - bi-polar, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, ADHD plus he battles to keep his neutraphils up to a level that he can fight off bacterial infections.  The latter means large amounts of folic acid.

Anyway, he dropped out of college - which was fine, I knew he wasn't going to make it.  He is the one that keeps me up at night though.

He wants to make all mistakes on his own and fix it on his own, is stubborn, combative at times, and needs to work on talking a breath before reacting, but don't we all really.

We had a LOT of problems with his living situation December through March - don't know if you remember.  Poor planning on his part, but really so much as trusting a druggy.  His living situation is good right now, but ends in August.

So, why this matters?  A little over two months ago he was in a wreck that totaled his car.  Great.  That car would have lasted him years because we were the only owners and took really good care of it.  But, we ended up buying him a $2,000 car to get back and forth to work - especially since we moved away from him.

About 3 weeks of having the car, it started leaking coolant.  I predicted it was the head gasket.  He did not want our help, nor really did we want to help.  He started riding a bike to work.  That in itself does not bother me, but the roads he must travel to get there do not have a sidewalk or bike lane.  He was knocked off his bike once and has almost misses daily.  Then he started getting rides from his boss - while trying to ask for a raise and get a promotion.  Sigh.

Last week, he finally relented and asked us to help him take it to a shop.  Darrell and I decided we would fix this problem since we pushed the car on him AND he has to procure another roommate situation very soon.  This little fix is around $3,200.  The head gasket, drive chain, and lots of other small things that are good to change since we are in the engine and they are not charging for labor.  This should get him a good car for a while. 

I know doing this for an adult seems like I am delaying a problem, but this kid is trying.  I am mean really trying - he saved up money like he said he was going to, he got a raise at work and is on the track to becoming an assistant manager, as well as working on the side as a plumber's apprentice.  I am not sure I could ask more of him right now. 

He has no debt, pays his bills on time and has a desire to do better.  The business he works at is a good place, family owned - I know them, and they like him.

This time, I don't mind helping him out.  After all, he was my first angel. ;)


  1. It sounds like he really is trying. It's tough getting ahead (or even staying caught up)when you are young and struggling. He's lucky he has some great parents to fall back on.

  2. I would have done the same. ::Hugs::

  3. I agree with the others and also would have done the same thing.

  4. If anything ever happened to your son, trust me, you'd never forgive nor forget. Sometimes we parents have to be, well, parents!
    You are doing the right thing.
    I would be doing the same.
    Good for you!
    God bless you and your son.