I am having a cry-all-day kind of day.
The building is going nowhere due to rain, which is bringing me down. My builder has twice made me look like an idiot. Both times I should have known better. I know, from a very awful past, to trust noone to give true information. It burns me ALL THE TIME! Yet, I trust over and over again. I guess I want to believe that people will be honest with me.
Point 1: This builder is NOT the one building our shed. However, he agreed to help us with the select fill pad. He also agreed to put it in the HOA documents for approval. He did not give them the information about the shed, so it delayed approval for 60 days. They only held it up because of the shed. If he had told me that I needed to get the information to the HOA myself, I would have - easily. A board member chastised me about me and I felt like an idiot.
Point 2: The contractors were working on the shed pad one day and it looked like they were going to get done. My builders pushed me to go ahead and tell the shed people that the pad was done to get on the list. Well, it did not get done. Started raining and it is still not done. Shed people called me today, they want to lay the forms in the morning! ARG!!! It is NOT ready for them and the contractors are not coming back to finish until Wednesday at the earliest! So, my builder says to tell the shed people Thursday. Are you kidding me? NO WAY! Then, proceeds to laugh at my frustration.
The quitting of my business, the living in the RV, the extreme stress lately - I think came to a head today. I am sad because my kids are more stoic than I am living here. I am sad because it feels (even though it is not true) that our house will never get built. I am sad because my back is hurting all the time. I am sad because I feel like I have nothing to do!
I am the type of person that needs something to do - outside of cooking and cleaning - a hobby, a job, something! I had that with the business - maybe too much, but I had it. When the frame goes up on the house, I will be busy, but this waiting is absolutely killing me.
I know for sure I am a sticks and bricks kind of girl. I feel a bit homeless - not true.
Oh, don't think I am giving up though - we are staying put. I will deal. The financial gain is too good to pass up. This house just needs to get going!
Darrell is sweetly out to get me wine, french bread to dip in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. He is grilled fillet Mignon wrapped in bacon and a salad. For dessert, he got those brownie bites from the grocery store.
Tomorrow is another day - I think I am done crying today. A good chick flick and a hot (short) shower will round off my day.
I hope you are all doing well on this very crappy Monday.