Maybe it is just this week, maybe I have finally just broken. I really think it is that. Broken. There is only so much stress a body can take - whether external or internal, that it finally just says - I am done.
Living in the RV is hard. It is not that it is awful, not that we don't have what we need, it is just hard. There are 20 things that have to be done before going to bed - that don't include brushing teeth, getting into night clothes and making sure you have water. This is 20 things that literally have to happen before you can physically get in the bed.
If we are eating, no one can go to the bathroom until everyone gets up and moves. It is just tedious and difficult.
College Boy is home and is acting so strange. He does not have a place to stay except with us, so we are now 5 in this RV - 2 in the bunks and one in a blowup mattress on the floor. Since this is all one room, we all have to go to bed at the same time (impossible). Since CB works sometimes to midnight, that means when he comes in - no matter how quiet, we all wake up. My sleep is difficult at best, but downright awful now - I sleep maybe 3 hours a day right now and I know that it is causing my emotional state.
CB is also struggling with what to do in life. After changing majors, he is not sure. Sigh, I am hurting for him. We talked about it, but there is no hard decision. This will be more organic. I did tell him that he cannot keep changing majors though - he just needs to finish and then we decide where to go.
My builder is not looking good right now - he seems very stressed and I think he is frustrated with us.
I feel my husband and I slipping just a bit, but we are hanging in there. No privacy is really starting to affect us. He is not telling me things and I am not telling him things because the kids can hear and they don't need to. We have not sat down and gone over money in over a month.
With all this, I am not wanting a fix - I just want to share what you might go through when building - this sucks big time!
So, I have lost the excitement about the house. It is just a house. My husband is over the moon excited - the patio is so great, the shower is so great, the living room is huge.... on and on and on. Me, just a critical eye - I am not sure we can get furniture in the master, the door is too small, we need another window here. I am like a machine. Booking appointments to look at barnwood, rushing to meet the contractors at a moments notice, giving kudos to all the contractors and builder constantly. I am drained.
So when this happened and I did not get excited. I knew - yep, I am broken or drained or whatever. I have zero excitement about this.